Red gi for the grandmaster, black gi for instructors and white gi for regular students.Ĥ8. (When in fact, the instructors is just holding you back for fear that you’ll get better than him.)Ĥ6. The instructor refuses to teach you certain techniques, because they are “too deadly”Ĥ5. The dojo’s phone number is printed on the back of your uniform.Ĥ4. The dojo’s web address is printed on the back of your uniform.Ĥ3. Movements don’t have names – they have numbers.Ĥ2. The instructor uses students as punching bags.Ĥ1. If you use weapons, they glow in the dark and weigh a maximum of 3 oz.Ĥ0. Cheesy sales tactics are used to effectively bind up loyal customers (a.k.a. Your grandmaster is 14-times World Champion (WKITSKTFKTAF)ģ5. Speaking of kata there are waaaay too many of them.ģ4. So cluttered that every time you take a step towards any direction in a kata, you’re actually stepping on a trophy.ģ3. Wearing/buying the dojo merchandize is mandatory.ģ2. Between belt grades you get colored tabs on your belt to denote ‘half’ or ‘quarter’ ranks.ģ1. The dojo sign has the words ‘traditional’, ‘commando’, ‘classical’, ‘effective’, ‘100%’, ‘original’, ‘Okinawan’, ‘dragon’, ‘Japanese’, ‘secret’ and ‘elite’ in the same sentence.Ģ9. You have stripes on your belt that signify how much you have paid (rather than what rank you have)Ģ8. Oh, and most likely, the name of the style is absurdly long.Ģ5. Your style was created by your sensei, yet it’s still “traditional” – and it has several “special advantages” over all other styles. There are 11th dan, 12th dan, 13th dan or even higher grades.Ģ3. Instructors are required to have the dojo’s decals on their car.ġ9. There is a sign that says “Guaranteed Black Belt”.Ģ0. Your sensei studied marketing longer than Karate.ġ7. There are many claims of being an “award winning dojo”, with little or no solid evidence to back this up.ġ6. Instructors wear special ‘instructor belts’ rather than regular belts reflecting their true ranking.ġ5. If you are taught bunkai, they never work – except when your sensei does them.ġ4. You are never taught bunkai (applications) to moves.ġ3. Instead, a strong conformist mentality is encouraged, since this inflexible mindset is what makes it easy for a sensei to rule the dojo.ġ2. Individual development and personal expression is virtually non-existant. Your sensei won’t spar/fight with you because he “doesn’t want to hurt you”.ġ1. (And yes, that course is super expensive.)ġ0. There is a “special course” that’ll get you black belt in 6 months or less.ĩ. Your sensei is a “grandmaster” with 7th dan or above, yet is 30 years or younger.Ĩ. Prospective students are required to become a member/subscribe before even trying a lesson.ħ. Advancement to the next rank is an expense (and a hefty one at that), instead of an honorful achievement.Ħ. You are awarded black belt in 1-2 years.ĥ. You wear a thousand badges/patches on your gi.Ĥ. The dojo advertises as “Non-Contact Karate”.ģ. Perhaps he could help?Īnd he even asks his facebook fans for help.Ģ. You know, that Jesse dude over at, who, besides being irrationally good-looking, seems to enjoy answering e-mails about Karate issues from readers. Suddenly, it’s like a weight drops off of your shoulders! You start seeing stuff in a new light, and day by day you realize that perhaps your sensei isn’t the “godlike” master of universe you once thought he was.Īnd then one day… a horrifying thought pops up in your head: And yeah, you’re still teaching classes sometimes.You don’t really know what it is, but something is definitely wrong.Īs a matter of fact, going to the dojo seems harder and harder. You have been training in your dojo for many years now, but a weird feeling is slowly creeping up on you, giving you that uncomfortable sensation in the pit of your stomach.
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